Hello, and welcome to my personal spin on HOT or NOT for the week. This is a list of movies I’ve watched/books I’ve read/things I’ve tried that made me happy or made me want to confront certain actors about poor career choices.

The Night of the Gun, by David Carr - Eh. It was enlightening (I learned how crack cocaine is made), but I wouldn’t read it again. David Carr seems to be a good writer, if a little pretentious, but despite the premise – he conducted research and did interviews with people who knew him while he was a junkie – it didn’t stand out from any other addiction memoir I’ve read.

Aveeno Active Naturals Body Wash – I got the pomegranate and rice exfoliating stuff, and it is AWESOME. Normally I don’t like fruity smells (unless accompanied by actual fruit) but this one wasn’t overwhelming, and the scrub itself wasn’t too rough for my skin. I was noticeably softer even before adding lotion. Recommend!

The Last Song – Miley Cyrus starred in this movie, which I guess was supposed to be a cross between a romantic comedy and a drama, heavy on the drama. While I like her voice, her acting was pretty pitiful. Or maybe I just find her annoying in general, I’m not really sure. Anyway, it helps when a film (especially the romantic variety) has a man so hot you want to rip your clothes off and climb through the screen compelling male lead, and I’m sorry to say Liam Hemsworth is sadly lacking both charm and good looks – at least in my humble opinion. Lead characters aside, the movie was predictable, which can sometimes be appreciated but not in this particular case.

Soooo. Clearly my week has been HIGHLY productive. It’s not as though I had a lot of time to browse the beauty section at Walmart or lay around watching bad imitations of movies. How has your week been?

I’ve spent the last week and a half not eating and sleeping incessantly. Oh yes, and working. My boss is on vacation, which means I’m temporarily in charge – sort of. I mean, as much as one CAN be in charge in my work environment. If I were really in charge, I’d be kicking a few asses and taking a few names regarding a few issues. Which is neither here nor there.

I’m stressed. Stressed over the changes I’m trying to make in my life (college – yay! and EEEK!), mostly. SPSCC is taking their sweet time with my transcripts (10 business days is unreasonable when you have the attention span of a fruit fly), and I have a desperate need to know if I’m as smart as I hope I am. Or was. Or something.

Instead of dealing with my anxiety by opening my jaw and hoovering all available food in the vacinity, which by now you should all recognize as my usual coping strategy, I’ve been buying books. Seems healthy on the surface, doesn’t it? Harmless, even!

The question is, how many is too many? I want to say there’s no such thing as too many books, but I’m positive my budget would say otherwise. If I consulted my budget in this matter, which…HAH!

Let’s see. In the past month – maybe even three weeks – I’ve purchased a total of…nevermind. The actual number isn’t important. A lot, it’s safe to assume. I’ll read them all, and probably love them all. And the one from the Barnes & Noble bargain bin doesn’t count. So there.

I skipped a week or so a couple of days at the gym, which might’ve contributed to my shopping spree. I went back today, thank god, and realized that part of my exhaustion/moodiness was the result of no exercise. I’ve become dependent on it.

Despite all of my nerves and agitation, I feel pretty good. Purpose is a lovely, necessary thing to have.

I love books. I love everything about them. The way they smell, the way they feel, the sound the pages make when you turn them. Few things please me more than a lazy morning with a book in my lap and a cup of coffee in my hand.

I’m slowly building my own library. Right now it fits on the extra shelves in my living room, but someday I’d like an entire room set aside for books. My grandmother had a makeshift library in her basement, and it was my favorite room in her house (despite the cold). I’d like mine to have comfortable chairs, a fireplace, and a lot of light.

Meanwhile, e-book sales are skyrocketing. Why buy a paperback when you can download whatever you want to your Kindle? Although it’s just as expensive to download a book as it is to buy one, without the added pleasure of being able to bury your nose in the pages. I mean, I guess a person could sniff their Kindle screen, but computers don’t really have a scent.

I’m not just a lover of stories, I’m a lover of BOOKS. Actual paper and binding books. And it will break my heart when everyone has a Kindle. Barnes & Noble is already reporting a decline in sales. I worry that eventually real books will become obsolete (while environmentalists do cartwheels). And THEN what will I do?

I can tell you this much: I will not be buying a Kindle. Ever. Maybe that makes me old-fashioned or snobby or possibly even ignorant, and I don’t care.

Sixty years from now when the world looks like something from a Jetsons cartoon, I’ll be pulling a battered copy of Wuthering Heights from a shelf. And my blinds will be closed.

Check it out:

BLONDE. On me! It’s so bizarre. I think I like it though! Well, aside from the prospect of constant maintenance…what do you guys think? (The hairstyle is not mine, sadly, but courtesy of Blake Lively on instyle.com – I just tweaked the colors).

And special thanks to Busty Satan for giving me the link!

- I recently watched Shutter Island, starring Leonardo DiCaprio, and am FLUMMOXED regarding the ending. Was he crazy? Personally, I believe he was sane – or as sane as he could be, given the circumstances – and the doctors and nurses on the island conspired to drive him crazy and make him doubt himself to cover up their EVILdoings. What did you think?

- Rowdy went home, and I’m a little bit sad about it – but happy to have my sister back (I didn’t realize how much I missed her until I saw her). Happier still about the pretty, bright blue t-shirt and baseball cap I got. I LOVE cheesy, touristy gifts. HEART.

- I’ve started going to the gym every day (instead of every other) to combat my emotionally-charged eating habits. I’m still trying to eat healthier, with sporadic success. It might be my imagination, but I think my belly is shrinking a tiny bit. So the extra gym time must be helping, at least a little.

- I’ve been considering going blonde for a while now. Not just highlights, but my whole head. BLONDE. I haven’t been totally blond since I was about three, but I want to go back. I’m bored with my look – my hair, my makeup. Everything is making me fall asleep. Something has to change. I don’t think a new shade of lipstick is gonna cut it, and I’m too much of a chickenshit to get a tattoo, so…hair it is. Of course, a decision like this can’t be taken lightly, so I’m asking you guys what you think:

Should I go blonde? And don’t think I haven’t considered the jokes about my hair finally matching my personality.

I’ve had temporary custody of Rowdy for about a week now. Heidi will be here sometime tomorrow to claim him and take him home…except I want to keep him.

He and Luna have finally started getting along (a little bit). And he’s gotten all cuddly. I curled up on the couch to take a nap yesterday and before I knew it he was squirming up against my stomach, pressing his cold nose against my hand. We snoozed for an hour or so.

Another bonus: Taking him for his daily walks has been helpful for my butt. Seriously. We walk to get the mail and back, in addition to my gym time (sadly Rowdy doesn’t come to the gym with me).

He’s always in such a great mood, besides. Dogs are so HAPPY. He waggles around, all cheerful and affectionate. Just seeing him chase his stupid, demolished lobter puts a smile on my face – partly because his legs are so short that it’s hilarious to watch him run.

But LOOK:

Would YOU give him back?

As many of you know, I had emergency surgery to remove my gallbladder not long ago. Since that fateful weekend, I’ve been spending all of my fun money on paying the resulting hospital bills.

Today I got another bill, randomly, from the clinic – from my surgeon, to be more precise. Let’s see…the surgery was FIVE MONTHS ago and he’s just getting around to billing me!? THANKS.

I was saving, slowly (very slowly) for a much-needed pair of running shoes. The sole on my current pair is so thin I may as well go barefoot. (There’s something I never thought I’d say – I’ve worn out a pair of running shoes!)

I’ve also been squirreling money away for the second season of True Blood, because I HAVE TO KNOW WHAT HAPPENED TO LAFAYETTE. I refuse to ask my sister, who has SOME idea, because she reads the books. And I’m sorry, Sookie Stackhouse fans, but Charlaine Harris’s writing just doesn’t compel me. At all.

And then, yesterday, my DVD player broke. Croaked. Died. QUIT WORKING. So now, before I can find out what happened to Lafayette (my favorite character, btw) I have to buy a new player.

Any suggestions for money making/saving that don’t involve prostitution?

Tomorrow is Heidi’s 25th birthday.

I remember turning twenty-five. I was still excited to have birthdays – not the least bit concerned with those who teased, “You’re a quarter of a century old!” Twenty-five felt great. I felt exactly the way I felt at twenty-one, or even eighteen (perhaps not something to brag about?). I thought of my goals and dreams, my hopes for the future, and didn’t worry at all that I might be running short on time. I was five years away from thirty with the attitude of twenty.

I’m not twenty-five anymore, and while I’m not sad about it I’m acutely aware that I’m twenty-eight (and a half). I’m still jazzed when my birthday rolls around – I’m too narcissistic not to be – but I also start running through my mental checklist of milestones. I’m not worried about wrinkles (much), or sagging skin, or the inevitability of my ass dropping about two inches. People get older, and no jar of miracle cream can prevent it. I intend to own my wrinkles and sagging ass, to wear them proudly. I just might have an easier time doing it if I’ve accomplished at least SOME of what I want to accomplish.

Checklists aside, I love birthdays. I love that there’s one day of the year in every person’s life that’s just theirs, a day they can feel special and appreciated and glad to be alive (hopefully). I love the cake and the ice cream, the brightly wrapped presents, I even love the expression on someone’s face when they’re faking – “No, I love it, thank you!” I especially love themed birthdays (and fully intend to have one, when I can get the cooperation of my friends & family).

Last year on Heidi’s birthday, I’m ashamed to say that I dropped the ball. Big time. She ended up sitting home by herself. I consider that unforgivable, and fully intend to make up for it this year. Starting now – feel free to wish her a very Happy Birthday!

And have a great day yourselves.

BEST. TIME. EVER.

Kate called me about three weeks ago and informed me that she managed to procure tickets, that would be concert tickets, to the Goo Goo Dolls performance in Billings on the 26th of May.

It took me about .00007 seconds to decide that NOT attending would be an unforgivable sin before screaming YES about six times and probably rupturing her ear drums. In case you’re wondering, it’s true, I am a freak. Also? The Goo Goo Dolls have been one of my favorite bands since I was too boobless to wear a proper training bra.

Anyway, it was completely amazing. They had so much energy! And humor! And they sounded so good! I swear Johnny Rzeznik has to be forty-something but he bounced around on that stage like he was fourteen.

It was entirely worth it to go broke for the next two weeks to see them live. And broke is exactly what I am. My ticket was $35, dinner at the Olive Garden beforehand was $23.20 (because for some reason the Olive Garden thinks it’s appropriate to charge FOUR EFFING DOLLARS for a little itty bitty dish of marinara sauce), the t-shirt I couldn’t live without was $30 (it should be noted that afterward we went to Walmart and I got two t-shirts for $4 a piece, therefore cancelling out the expense of the band t-shirt – don’t ask me how I justify these things), and gas to get to and from Billings was about $80. I hesitate to add it all up (actually I refuse) but you get the idea – my fun money for the next month or so is officially spent.

But I don’t even care, because it was WORTH IT. Behold, one of the many moments we spent spazzing the hell out, captured on camera:

Check out all the teeth, we’re like a damn toothpaste ad. It was definitely worth it.

I had an appointment in Havre today at nine o’clock, which forced me to get my lazy butt out of bed at seven-thirtyish (it takes an hour to get there from here, and yes I did have bad hair why do you ask?).

I stopped at my friendly neighborhood gas station to fuel up and add antifreeze (my tank has been working on a slow drip for a little over a month, and being who I am I chose to continually add antifreeze instead of spending what I figured would be an exorbitant amount of cash to fix whatever was wrong). The attendant added antifreeze and checked the oil and I was just about to drive off on my merry way when he motioned for me to pop the hood again. I did, but it was already 8:02 and I was muttering impatiently under my breath. Then he started gesturing for me to get out of the car and have a look – never a good sign.

Sure enough, my little leak had turned into a cascade. Ever hopeful, I inquired about possibly still making my appointment in Havre. I wish I’d had a camera to capture the look on his face as he said, “You can’t drive this car anywhere.”

I went back to my office to inform my co-worker & friend that I wouldn’t be making my appointment after all (okay, I just wanted to bitch about my car) and she suggested borrowing my sister’s car.

Heidi has witnessed my driving more than once, and ONLY once she was a white-knuckled, prayer-reciting passenger. I was fairly certain she would just hang up on me, but miraculously she agreed to let me take hers – although she did include a note mentioning that driving very safely would be in my very best interests.

I made it to my appointment and when I got back, a couple of the guys I work with were rummaging under my hood (eek!). I hustled over making noise about maybe hiring someone who actually has a clue what the hell they’re DOING to fuss with my car’s inner parts, but I needn’t have worried. THEY FIXED IT!

Evidently the problem was a crack in the bottom of the plastic tank thingy, which they took to a friend of theirs to weld shut. Even if the handiwork doesn’t last (which it should), they said I could get a second-hand tank for cheap if I needed one. IT WAS FREE! A free fix! And if it doesn’t hold it’s going to be a CHEAP fix. This is the best news I’ve had in a while, and I was grinning like a lottery winner as I test drove it to make sure the temperature gauge was behaving (it was!).

Most of the time it drives me insane that the men I work with are macho, very old-fashioned types (in this instance old-fashioned can be defined as someone who still believes women are ignorant about everything except making & raising babies), but not today! Today I love them.

Even better news? Now that my car is fully functional again I can actually GO TO THE GOO GOO DOLLS CONCERT in Billings on the 26th! Kate bought tickets and invited me and OH GOD OH GOD the Goo Goo Dolls, people! They’re my favorite band and I was so bummed at the prospect of maybe not being able to go, but now I CAN.

Coming soon: embarrassing antidotes about things I did at the concert one should probably never admit to.