Heidi and her husband went to Billings last week, for the state wrestling tournament. (I was planning to go – my brother was there to compete – but alas, having an organ removed isn’t a great prelude to visiting a crowded, sweaty gym).

Since I was stuck at home, anyway, they asked me to babysit their miniature dachshund, Rowdy. I agreed, and Heidi agreed to buy me a t-shirt. Everyone was satisfied.

Except for Luna, that is. Luna is very territorial. I figured it wouldn’t matter because Rowdy is a dog, and the last time there was a dog in the house (Molly) Luna sat on the top shelf in the pantry for a month and refused to come down. She’s afraid of dogs, or MOST dogs. She wasn’t afraid of Rowdy at all, possibly because he looks more like a giant rat with floppy ears. She took one look at him and I could see the thought bubble over her head. It said: “LUNCH.”

I spent most of the week chasing Luna away from Rowdy, or scooping Rowdy up to protect him from any wayward claws. I think he genuinely wanted to play; he’s used to having other animals around, and he kept approaching Luna, barking and rolling around like he would pounce if he didn’t think it would get him killed. Luna regarded him with open disdain, and kept shooting me dirty looks that seemed to say, “Really? ANOTHER DOG? Or wait, is that a rat? Haven’t I suffered enough?”

She did spend some time on her shelf in the pantry, glaring down at Rowdy when he happened to waggle by. Fortunately, I’m a good referee, and neither pet seems irreversibly traumatized by the experience.

I admit I spoiled Rowdy a little. I gave him a blanket I didn’t like and bought him a ball to chew on, as well as some rawhides. He’s damned lovable (despite having sewer rat lurking somewhere in his ancestry).

I also learned to appreciate Luna. Luna doesn’t drag me out of bed at just shy of 7AM because she has to pee and expects me to watch. Luna doesn’t whine or bark in the middle of the might – the worst she can be accused of is trying to sit on my head and smother me because I forgot to fill her food bowl.

I learned something about myself, too. As much as I enjoy other people’s dogs, I probably won’t have one of my own. I’ll just borrow Rowdy once in a while.