Hope, Revisited

Do not fear – only believe. All things are possible to those who believe.

hopeless

February19

For a little while, I believed him.

I believed we belonged together, despite overwhelming evidence to the contrary. The tightness in my chest eased whenever I saw him. I smiled easier, and laughed harder. I felt like a better version of myself. Being with him made me want to accomplish more, experience more, live more.

He said he loved me, but I didn’t believe him. I never believe those words when someone else is speaking them about me. I thought it was enough that I loved him. Love is a gift, I told myself. And gifts are given without expectations. Or at least they should be.

My defenses got a little bit weaker every time I saw him. He brought me a flower. He didn’t just say I was beautiful, he looked at me like he really believed it. He promised me someday.

Someday is never coming. I know that now. Someday was the bait, and I was just hungry enough to swallow it.

3 Comments to

“hopeless”

  1. On February 19th, 2010 at 15:35 Busty Satan Says:

    Someone once told me that women show love in words and men in actions. Don’t know if that’s useful or appropriate here or not. Just…it’s what I’ve got.

    I’m sorry you’ve been hurt.

  2. On February 21st, 2010 at 14:39 Cheri Says:

    This was heartbreakingly beautiful hon…

  3. On February 21st, 2010 at 20:54 Jess Says:

    Ugh. These realizations are the worst. But, it’s so important to have this kind of awareness.

    Still, I’m sorry.

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